Creating Self Confidence - Cascades Of Positive Change Through NLP
29 December 2006
For a long time, I’ve been fascinated by cascades of change. Sometimes when we think we’re changing one area, it also has a positive effect on many other aspects of life.
And we may as well do all those changes together. Why insist on working with one aspect at a time, when it’s possible to offer a more lasting and thorough change?
One of the things that human beings are good at is forming general rules about the world. So I thought I’d play with introducing some about confidence.
There are two ‘opposing’ propositions I’d like to make about confidence :
- Confidence is a natural state of being. An ‘un-confident’ state is ‘natural state + junk’
- Confidence is not a natural state of being. It has a specific structure of its own.
It can be useful to examine both of those statements together in the following way.
1. Imagine two spaces in front of you. One contains an experience of ‘being confident.’ The other contains an experience of ‘being un-confident.’
2. Step into each experience in turn and be aware of what is there:
- What do you see, hear and feel?
- How do you see and hear in that experience?
- What are you seeing and hearing on the inside?
- What is your sense of space like?
- How quickly/slowly does time appear to pass?
- What sensations are you aware of and what is your posture and sense of balance like?
When I have led people through this experience, they have reported a diminished sense of space, faster subjective time and unhelpful internal dialogue with ‘bad’ tonality in the ‘un-confident’ space.
Some people reported useful ‘extras’ in the ‘confident’ space, such as being well balanced or a feeling of being supported.
3. Compare the differences:
- What is in the ‘un-confident’ state that is absent in the ‘confident’ one?
- Is there anything in the ‘confident’ one that is missing from the other experience?
Now physically remove all of the ‘extra junk’ out of the ‘un-confident’ space and dispose of it in a way that you know it will be gone forever. Do it symbolically, if necessary and remove the symbols with real, physical actions to ‘de-clutter’ your awareness.
You can be as creative as you like here – imagine burying it, set fire to it in your mind, or drop it into a black hole, for example. Just make sure you know it’s gone for good.
Then, if you found any extras in the ‘confident’ state, copy them into the space that used to be ‘un-confident’, so they’re now essentially the same.
4. Here’s where the magic happens. Look at the original ‘confident’ space and notice how that experience is connected to many different areas of your life. Step into the space and get a sense of those connections.
Now, look at the space that used to be ‘un-confident’ and notice the different areas of your life that state was connected to, realizing that they are now just connected to the space it had occupied.
As you step into that space, understanding it now contains all the same components as the ‘confident’ state, allow the new and different sensations to cascade – traveling out along the connections and transforming everything in their wake. See it, hear it and feel the difference.
5. Take a deep breath and let it out.
6. Allow a short time afterwards for any new sensations to settle. I’ve found this to be a powerful process on the occasions when I’ve used it with myself and others.
The example I’ve given above relates to confidence. Both propositions I made appear to be true in some useful way. This process could be used to create cascades of change in many areas, from ‘awareness’ to ‘happiness’. I’ll leave it to you to do the rest.
About The Author:Philip Callaghan is an NLP Trainer and Coach who has been working full time with private clients for several years. He is a Licensed Master Practitioner and Trainer of Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) and a member of the International Association of Coaches.Visit Phil’s website www.resourcefulchange.co.uk for further articles and sign up for his free series of NLP articles here: www.resourcefulchange.co.uk/nlp_primers.shtml
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